0 Happiness in Marriage

Introduction 

A modern vision of marriage has essentially changed nowadays. There is no more a high social value of marriage and it is not an obligatory part of life of the contemporaries. This research paper determines the role of modern marriage. On the basis of three main explanatory variables, such as the general happiness of the individuals in the marriage, family satisfaction and family’s total income, a relation between the concepts of love, intimacy, property and happiness in marriage is defined. There are also nine variables, such as condition of health, the financial satisfaction of the couple, children in the family or a childfree family, a possible cheating of spouses, the level of education of the spouses, a level of self-satisfaction in the family, financial ability to have more children and the way it affects on the family, legal marital status of the couple are taken into account. Thus, whether it is possible to be happy in modern marriage is an interesting question… 

Literature review 

Laura Kipnis underlines that a modern marriage is based on societal bounds more than on feelings or emotions. Moreover, a modern marriage should be interpreted in wider terms, because it is available for people of different sexual orientation (Kipnis, 2006). The government has a right to take control over a family and married couples, because “basic repression is necessary for any civilization to survive (Kipnis, 2006). Therefore, the issues of social status and political relation between a family and the government cannot be underestimated. 

Happiness in marriage, with respect to Kipnis, can be explained in the following way: “Marriage exerts influence on love in order to "maximize submission and minimize freedom" (Kipnis 2006, p. 53). Issues of property or financial satisfaction from marriage can be interpreted in a different manner, in comparison with how it was interpreted many years ago. Nowadays in Australia there is a chance to meet couples, which do not have money for their common mansion and they live alone (Csencsitz, 2008). 

Thus, Susan Maushart is focused on the issues of property and marriage. A modern family, technology, politics and many other external factors play a very important role. The same fact is underlined by Marilyn Yalom in her book “The History of the Wife”, where she specifies a changing role of a woman in the society and in the family (Yalom and Carstensen, 2002). There is a great challenge before modern women: they want to be happy and to be loved in their families, but at the same time, they do not want to give up their careers. Therefore, in order to be happy, a modern woman should try on different roles: "the wife can learn a great deal from the mistress" (Shumway, Sterling, Kimball, Korinek, and Arredondo, 2007). 

Generally speaking, there is a great imbalance between relations of modern men and women in the society and this tendency is evident in marriages: “couples will be equal within the relationship-always a difficult goal in a sexist society-and also that they maintain a delicate balance between autonomy and fusion” (Hawkins, Wardle, and Coolidge, 2007). Condition of health of spouses can be interpreted in the following way: in case an individual loves and works, he is a happy one. This hypothesis was suggested by the Great Fraud and it still work in the modern context (Spurlock 2005, p. 290). 

A level of self-satisfaction in the family is rather difficult issue, because a great deal of a positive emotional charge of both spouses depends on intimacy. Intimate relations in modern marriages are often controversial and a personal feeling of satisfaction is often gone from the hearts of the spouses. Helen Fisher (2004) and Shumway et al underline that there is a direct relation between intimacy and marriage. A feeling of passion, physical attraction and many other components of intimate life are integrative elements of a happy life in marriage. Children in the family is another crucial issue, because some modern families do not want to have children and live alone for their own needs and interests, and some couples are longing for having children, but they do not have either physical or financial resources. At this point, intentions of both spouses concerning children should be correlated and only mutual deicision will bring in a felling of happiness in marriage. 

Concerning legal status of modern marriages and the issues of legal protection of a family’s property, it can be said that modern laws protect “married woman’s property rights and earnings” (Yalom & Carstensen 2002, p. 23). In the modern context the issues of property, love and intimacy cannot be separated and these are three basic elements of a modern marriage, which is defined as “the institution through which people join together their lives in emotional and economic ways through forming a household. It often confers rights and obligations with respect to raising children, holding property, sexual behavior, kinship ties, tribal membership, relationship to society, inheritance, emotional intimacy and love” (Shumway, Sterling, Kimball, Korinek, and Arredondo, 2007). 

Hypothesis: it is possible to suggest that the modern spouses are independent individuals, which want to be together. The concepts of love and intimacy play a crucial role in marriage, but the issues of property or any other financial concerns are challenging for the modern couples. Financial health of a family determines all potential activities and plans of its members, such as having children, mansion, living a stable life et cetera. Marriage concerns social, economical, emotional and psychological factors determining life of spouses. Happy relations in marriage depend on the ability of both spouses to make equal contribution in emotional and financial gains. The modern spouses have their rights and obligations, but in but a constant economical risk is present. Very often financial concerns destroy modern marriages and property arrangements are very popular nowadays. It does not mean that modern people are more pragmatic, than they used to be many years ago, it simply means that marriage in the modern context is a partnership and not oppression. To make common decisions, to have a joint property, to be more tangible in personal relations, guarantees equality, satisfaction and happiness in marriage, because it is a product of two spouses and both of them are responsible for making equal contributions in this risky affair. 

Works cited  Csencsitz, Cassandra. Who’s Afraid of Modern Marriage? American Theatre, 25 (October 2008): 14+.

Hawkins, Alan J., Lynn D. Wardle, and David Orgon Coolidge, eds. Revitalizing the Institution of Marriage for the Twenty-First Century: An Agenda for Strengthening Marriage. Westport, CT: Praeger, 2002. Questia. Web. 20 June, 2012.

Kipnis, Laura. "Something's Missing." Women's Studies Quarterly 34.3/4 (2006): 22+.Questia. Web. 20 June, 2012.

Maushart, Susan. The Winter of our Disconnect. (December 30, 2010). Web. 20 June, 2012.

Shumway, Sterling T., Thomas G. Kimball, Alan W. Korinek, and Rudy Arredondo. "A Family Systems-based Model of Organizational Intervention." Journal of Marital and Family Therapy 33.2 (2007): 134+. Questia. Web. 20 June, 2012.

Spurlock, John C. "Modern Love: Romance, Intimacy, and the Marriage Crisis."Journal of Social History 39.1 (2005): 287+. Web. 20 June, 2012.

Yalom, Marilyn, and Laura L. Carstensen, eds. Inside the American Couple: New Thinking/New Challenges. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press, 2002.Questia. Web. 20 June, 2012.